Warning! Not for the faint-hearted!
After I left a meeting on Saturday, I was on my way to the library to pick up my reserved copy of the latest Outlander book on CD to listen to while quilting. I needed to pee really badly, so I decided to stop at Kohl’s and do just a little Father’s Day shopping. I could use their bathroom, pick up a couple of items and make it to the library before they closed.
As I am making my way to the bathroom, I started farting… not quiet farts, and not the ones without odor. I hurried on to the bathroom so I could finally “release” the pressure. Okay. Good! There was only 1 person in the bathroom, and she was near the exit. So, I went down to the final stall next to the handicapped stall. Out of respect for those who really need it, I did not choose the handicapped stall. That left an open spot on either side of me.
Wouldn’t you know it, as I am peeing 2 other ladies enter the bathroom and take residence on either side of me. I still have not released the “other” pressure that had built up on my way to the bathroom. Now, why, when there are all those other stalls available, would someone choose a stall close to someone already else who has already taken up residence in that area? Oh well, they asked for it! I needed to release the noise, and, as I found out, more than just noise. Of course, the odor, etc. came with it. Hope they were happy! Maybe that will teach them to invade my private space!
I could see the feet of the lady on my left side. She was on her toes, with her heel up in the air. You know what that means… she was wiping the back side. As for the lady on my right (in the handicapped stall), she was making her own music with the smells to match. So… I decided that it’s not just me. Everyone goes down to the end of the bathroom if they need to release from the back side. And, at this point my heart went out to the folks who REALLY do need to use the handicapped stall. Their stall is the designated pooping stall for all <sigh>. Note to architects building public bathrooms… what is wrong with putting the handicapped stall nearest the exit???
So, as it turned out, I guess the 3 of us at the end of the bathroom in the designated pooping stalls were having our own little private pooping party. We were the party poopers!